SHAMES, NAMES AND FAMILY CLAIMS (A LEGACY STORY)
Well, if this doesn’t show our white trash genetics, nothing will.
My mother’s favorite sayings were;
“Now when we assume , that makes an “ass out of u and me”. We’ve all endured that one, right?
And .”Write it down, make a list, and everyday mark it off when you do it ,and make a new one. You cannot be successful without a successful list”.
If you tried to talk over some problem or failure, and needed consoling, you were met with, “Well, did you use your list? Did you have it all down in black and white so you could deal with it?”
Mother used to give so many lectures that when we talked about one of them, we’d label it with numbers like; Lecture 999, was about talking with your mouth full; Lecture 345, was about curfews and other concocted numbers to cover any subject.
My mother also had a unique way of dispensing sex education information. She would instruct her grandchildren about their “utensils”. Her word for the male appendage.
My biological dad was known to swear, and yet, that was nothing unusual for the males in our that side of family and his age group. But, there was one word that would set my nerves on edge, and I truly can’t tell you why. It would always seem more offensive than many others I heard in my youth.
The word was “dukey”. Or, maybe it was “dookey”. I don’t really know as I never have heard anyone in my entire life, except my biological dad, say the word.
My interpretation, from the way it was used , was that it was another word for feces, crap, s— etc. But, on the rare occasion I heard my dad say it, it was like fingernails on a chalk board to me. And, I sadly have to admit it conjures up the smell of stale smoke from Lucky Strike cigarettes and my father’s daily “toilet ritual” in the morning . Oddly, I remember it still at the ripe old age of 67 though the last “dukey” experience would have been no later than the age of , maybe 8.
My sister’s favorite was “Pretty is, as Pretty does”, and “The good die young so the evil can live on to repent.” Her plea (even at the end of her life ) was, “Don’t let them bury me in a shroud. I don’t want to go to heaven with my butt showing”.
I am told my sayings include, “Trust me”, and the inevitable, “But they needed it and didn’t have any” which caused me to be immortalized on the front page of the newspaper. My son revealed in an interview, I’d given away our Christmas tree one year when the children were still young: so we didn’t have a tree that Christmas. The truth was, our youngest daughter bought a tiny Christmas tree with her own money to fill the void. But, the others were having none of it. No Christmas spirit there. This sort of fits in with the fact that, if anyone can’t find something in our home, the saying is always, “Who did mom give that too?”
My husband is famous for, “you have to have your oars in the water”. If you sought consultation or counseling from him, he would always inquire about your proverbial oars, or sum up your problem as being a result of the oars, not being in the proverbial water. And of course, his never failing goodbye of, “Don’t forget to use your seat belt, and drive like you’ve got good sense”.
My husband was also responsible for nicknaming just about everyone in the family. Listed here are family nicknames from the entire spans of family members including, but not limited to, the ones he doled out:
I am not sure what all of this says about our family, or how happy it makes you that you aren’t a part of this family, but I just wanted to be sure some of the “monikers” of the family are not be forgotten. After all, in many cases they become a legacy too.
Cunkie.Queenie. The Lioness.
Goose Girl. Ray of Sunshine.
Boy. Sono. Stevie-weevie. Sonny-boy.
Old Woman (mine given to me by my husband before we even left the platform of our wedding ceremony. I was all of 18 and it stuck). Grandma Lady (my best-known moniker). In my youth: Duchess, Bunny, Tex, JoJo the dog faced girl.
Also, “T”. Poo Poo ( my sister who identified with Winnie the Poo with her grandchildren).Truly Fair (from her teen years).
RRD (Rhoda rum dum).
Shamey Amy, Little Baby Doll.
“Z “(short for “zipper” when our nephew got his “utensil” zipped up in his jeans).
Smitty, Bud, Doc, Energizer Bunny
Lil, Lily (of the Valley).
Bad-um Adam. Peach,
ZJ., Zackie, Bean.
Putty. Catalog Boy.
Marshmallow. Aspy. Weiner.
Noseboy. Buckeye. Jeffrey Meatcutter.
Big Belly. Big Butt. Kota man.
Sam I Am. Sammy Sue. Sassy. Cindy LuWho.
Lund (interchangeable for my husband, his father and his two brothers).
Hermie Honey.Jim Kent. Grandpa Bud.
Favorite Wisconsin Son in law.
Favorite Ohio Son in law.
Favorite Daughter in law (can’t show favorites you know)
Favorite Oklahoma sister in law.
Think about the legacy that your family leaves, and gives, in names and sayings you are known for. Legacies can be subtle, and even unintentional. But legacies are all we have, in the end.