Paying Romance Forward; the other side of a First Date anniversary on Halloween.

As years pass, the red rose is replaced by the purple rose to symbolize endurance of love. Joyce Godwin Grubbs

Roses signify love, and usually the red rose is traditionally given. However, as the years go by, the “purple rose” signifies “enduring love” thus so appropriate for this story, and our love..

UPDATE; HALLOWEEN 2016 BECOMES OUR 55TH YEAR TO CELEBRATE OUR FIRST DATE. This blog post was written two years ago, but believe me, it tells the tale with a slight update at the end..

It began with the realization that years had passed and a celebration was due. The reality was, however, that we were both considered “elderly now” and it was 53 years after the fact. How to celebrate???  We weren’t “travel-worthy” these days. But back then……………….

I was 18 and he was 20 when we met while building a homecoming float at my dorm, the original Thatcher Hall,  at Oklahoma State University.  A month later he turned 21 and three months later we were married; church wedding and all.

osu sweethearts 1961

Of the eleven grandchildren we had from the three offspring we were blessed with, one is now a freshman at Oklahoma State University and she is a firecracker from Wisconsin. She became the catalyst for our 53rd anniversary celebration of our Pay it Forward “First Date” celebration. 

Aspen, Shannon and Aspen's mother Trula who also attended OSU

Granddaughter Aspen, daughter Shannon and Aspen’s mother, daughter Trula who also attended OSU

The first order of business was to celebrate Homecoming up right. That would entail the recruitment of our two daughters who would fly there from Ohio and Wisconsin and meet my two nieces, one from Georgia and one from Oklahoma. They would coordinate a reunion of sorts at the Homecoming festivities with our granddaughter.

The "crew" eating at Kevin Durant's in Bricktown OKC

The “crew” eating at Kevin Durant’s in Bricktown OKC

It went perfectly. Lots of pictures of the homecoming events, our beloved hangout spots like Theta Pond, and walking the campus which had made drastic changes in the intervening years.


Apen's dad was a North Dakota State grad, thus the "Bison" picture for dear old dad.

Apen’s dad was a North Dakota State grad, thus the “Bison” picture for dear old dad.


It ended with our girls bringing back to our home in Iowa, a metal sculpture of the OSU Posse which was proudly displayed immediately in a quickly built drive-way entrance for all to see by Trula and her proud and happy dad. Doing projects like this has been a life-long bond between the two.

Rex Brown's metal sculpture "Posse"

Rex Brown’s metal sculpture “Posse”.  Life-size ones by the sculptor can be seen at Boone Picken’s Stadium Stillwater, OK.

You can't miss our pride and joy now.

You can’t miss our pride and joy now. It is bordered by 96′ of wooden fence embedded with hundreds of marbles per 8′ section.









In the spirit of the McClintock movie with John Wayne, I thought my husband was going to throw his hat as John Wayne had thrown his on top of the Victorian house on the weather vane.

In the spirit of the McClintock movie with John Wayne, I thought my husband was going to throw his hat as John Wayne had thrown his on top of the Victorian house on the weather vane.






















That was a great celebration but as a writer, romantic, and instigator of love, I had another event that I thought appropriate. Our first date was on a Halloween night and for years we celebrated that date with more attention to detail than our wedding anniversary. So it was, that I decided I needed to make it even more special; pay it forward so to speak. I enlisted my college granddaughter at OSU to carry out the plan. 

Our first date, being poor college students, we went to study at the Library (he studied and I faked it.) From there we went to the Student Union for hot chocolates and a dance was in progress for Halloween.  I determined to “recreate that” for two new couples that my granddaughter would select with her keen eye and her grandmother’s genetic pre-disposition to be able to discern about people. In this case couples.

I sent money to my granddaughter to buy two long stem roses

A rose always signifies love.

A rose always signifies love.




















and then I prepared and sent two cards with an inserted story about why they were receiving the roses and included $10  to buy hot chocolate (or their choice) at the student union.  Aspen attached a card to each rose.  And as luck would have it, there was a Halloween dance open to the students again at the Union. The pressure was on my granddaughter to find just the right couple. And we knew we didn’t want to pressure the couple for pictures, although I wanted so badly to see them. For that reason, my granddaughter took two friends with her who stayed at a respectful distance to film the events.

54c 54e 54i

At the library, my granddaughter was already in party mode on her way to a Halloween party so she became a little shy. The importance of the event won out however, and she went up on every single floor looking at all the couples and finding no one who met her scrutiny for “the perfect couple” they went to the coffee/cafe on the ground floor.

There in the corner was a couple sharing a single dinner. While they weren’t feeding each other, they were engaged in intimate conversation and to my granddaughter’s interpretation were “adorable.” She left  the rose on a book ledge and went to their table and verbally ascertained they were a couple. She then gave the rose to the girl and the card to the young man saying it would explain everything.  He thanked her and she noted he spoke with an accent that she was not able to identify and both of them smiled and laughed as she left them to read the card, letter of explanation, and to realize they had $10 to go for a treat.


She spotted the “perfect” couple coming out of the Union.

Talking to the couple who received the rose and card. They were staying at a distance so as not to identify them without their permission.

Talking to the couple who received the rose and card. They were staying at a distance so as not to identify them without their permission.







At the Student Union she repeated her faithful search going to every floor and looking for the right couple. She and her friends were “not feeling it” so they went outside and sat in the courtyard of the Union. As they sat there they say a young couple came out and it was obvious they were a couple so no “interview” was necessary. She gave the girl the rose and again gave the young man the card and said it would explain everything. She was delighted in their enthusiasm and as she listened to their thanks, she was once again captivated by the “Okie twang” that so readily landed on her Wisconsin ears. I imagine she realized it was much like what I would have sounded like 53 years ago. Her friends had done their duty taking respectful, distant documentations by photos.

As for me, I hadn’t told my husband what I had done until I got the report back. He shook his head but luckily for him didn’t roll his eyes. After 53 years I believe he’s accepted he married a hopeless romantic.  As for me I finally felt I had “celebrated” the anniversary up right.

This is a copy of the letter and pictures included with the Library couple’s card and $$ for a treat. A similar one was made for the couple at the Student Union.

Dear Recipient, SO THE REASON FOR THIS SPECIAL OCCASION IS; Halloween, 1961, 53 years ago, we sat in the Oklahoma State University Library on our first date. We met while decorating a homecoming float just days before. He was a senior from Billings, Ok. And I was a freshman transfer from Iowa’s Coe College. Until my middle school years, I had lived in my hometown of Okmulgee, Oklahoma and wanted to return to my “roots”. 

 osu sweethearts 1961

Following the library date, where he studied and I faked it, we went to the Student Union for hot chocolate and finding a dance in progress, we joined in and had a wonderful time. Thus enclosed is $10 for a hot chocolate or some treat.

We married 2 and ½ months later thinking we would be saving money, LOL. It did help, we didn’t have to pay for dating expenses; but everyone thought we would never last because we were impetuous. (The first and last time that word was ever said of my husband.)

Joyce wedding cake

January 28, 1962, First Christian Church, Stillwater, Ok.

53 years, 3 children and 11 grandchildren later, we feel we were blessed to have attended Oklahoma State University and met.  Our 53rd wedding anniversary is in January, and the young lady who delivered your rose, envelope, and $$ is our granddaughter from Wisconsin. She is 3rd generation student and her mom attended here as well. She is a Legacy student thanks to her grandpa’s graduation from OSU. Her brother is transferring to OSU next semester. All in all a wonderful gift to be able to give them “Legacy status” for $$ off their tuition.

We wanted to share this moment in time with someone special and our granddaughter selected you. I hope it brightened your Halloween and gave you another wonderful OSU memory to carry forward.

                                                                        Believe………………You Can!

                                                                         Author Joyce Godwin Grubbs



One of the couples who received the rose and money. They then told a reporter friend, Montinique Monroe, about the experience and it was put in the Oklahoma State University newspaper, The O’Colly.

 Halloween 2016; First Date Anniversary of 55 years.

In summation: We just became great-grandparents to a gorgeous girl, (my namesake) Riley Joyce apparently already praying for her life ahead.









These days you will catch us smooching in the Fairy Garden in our yard; me in my Boomer Sooner crimson electric scooter and my hubby faithfully caring for my every need, and too many of my “whims”. I dare not mention I might like something or its bought, made, or built before I can even think about the reality of the statement.

herman-an-d-joyce-smoochTwo grandsons are married and several of the eleven grandchildren are in relationships with significant others with marriage being their goal. Life is good and fulfilled for the two of us and when we think of all the life experiences which have now put (literally) a million words into print in my books and blog, we are satisfied that all those who come after we are gone, will have a way to “know us and what we were about.”

orange book pic 2


I hope in your life you never lose your sense of wonder, romance, possibilities, hope, and faith. Even though it might be a small gesture, that you make the effort to include others in your good times; to pass on love and romance, and that you remember to always “give away that which you would want for yourself.”


About joycegodwingrubbs2

Some call me retired: I am RE-FIRED. I have written 15 books, plus 3 written as a "ghost writer". I no longer offer the novels as printed books, having them only available as Kindle Ebooks since my retirement as a novelist. Twelve books are on Kindle eBooks: collectively they are known as The Greyhound Lady Walking suspense series.They are real cases fictionalized into suspense stories to protect identities..( no victim/survivor names were compromised, and workers and locations were protected.) I also co-authored a non-fiction book: Footsteps Out of Darkness: The Annabelle Kindig Story . It is available on Amazon under the name of Annabelle Kindig. I have traveled, written from the heart, and found an audience that appreciates my "platform". The catalyst to writing the novels was the realization that if I died, I would take all my amazing experiences in these real cases with me; and believe me few have lived 5 lives in one. It would "silence the voices" of the victim/survivors whose triumphs are written into these novels. The suspense series was written in part with the collaboration of police woman and sex crime expert Trula Ann Godwin. In addition to the novels, I have written as a ghost writer for a World War II veteran who fought in the South Pacific aboard the USS Maryland in all the major battles. I have also written a non-fiction book recording oral history stories of my family members beginning with the 1930's to present. There are sixty-six "legacy" stories with pictures. It was recently published as a private printing for family and close associates only. I am a published photo journalist having won the 2009 Editor's Choice Award for internet freelance news articles and pictures of the Cedar Rapid's Iowa flood victim accounts and their personal struggles.. My husband and I are in our 52nd year together (only one blip on the marital radar together), and we have adopted three greyhounds; Dex, Big Buddy and Baby Doll. These were the inspirations in the Greyhound Lady Walking suspense series We have eleven grandchildren, 7 grandsons and 4 granddaughters. My three children live in Iowa, Wisconsin and Ohio.
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4 Responses to Paying Romance Forward; the other side of a First Date anniversary on Halloween.

    • Thank you Michelle. I don’t write as often anymore, but somethings need to be written. Love following your blogs and realize I’ve been neglectful of leaving comments. Having a few problems that “interfere”. Will be more faithful as I can.

  1. Dottie Melko says:

    What a great story to share with us!! Love it & enjoy your sense of humor & sense of adventure as well> Happy Anniversary & Many more!!!

    • Dottie, my Oklahoma roots remain such an intregal part of me and I laugh when I meet old classmates and upon getting re-acquainted, as soon as they find out I married an Okie they laugh and say, “All those years here in Iowa in Jr. High, High School and starting college, you always said you’d go back and marry an Okie. And you did.”

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