WALLS TALK AND TABLES WITNESS; SLEEPWALKING, A RAPIST AND TRAVEL WERE PART OF THE LEGACIES OF OUR FAMILY TABLE..


trula-dee-with-trula-table

The traveling table in our family for over 50 years. 4 households embracing the lives of 13 children and the saga of many lives changed and challenged.

The need to tell the tales was brought home to me recently when a high school friend, Phillis Crawford-Dickey, contacted me about our upcoming high school reunion and stated that she “wished we could sit down together and have a cup of coffee and just talk.” Sadly I had to decline for reasons of health, but it did make me think of all the times I have sat around the very table pictured above.

volquardsen-bd-3

One of the first events at the table was to celebrate the 6th birthday of Trula Dee Ann Grubbs who chose a “Purple Party” which included a “real doll cake” with purple icing dress. From left to right are: Steven Grubbs, Darrin Tanner, Trula Grubbs, (seated in red) Shannon Grubbs, Behind her, Amy Tanner, and then Bradley Tanner.  This was when the table started serving its duties for the family and was with grandparents, Dr. Willard Smith and Marguerite Smith.

Of course when it was new there were six chairs, two with arms. The picture above depicts it as it is today. Two benches lovingly crafted by my husband to replace the chairs that finally fell apart after the grandchildren made good use of them and the boys became over six feet tall. They have replaced four chairs, and the table recently received a loving restoration from a grandson who was born years after it came into the family; Steven Hensler. Now grown  sitting at this table his entire life time he was able to sit while planning his wedding and establishing his career choices.

*****A Humorous Memory**********

steve-and-shannon

Our son Steven and sister Shannon at his “graduation from pre-school”. It was the just in the months before this picture that his “sleepwalking” adventure witnessed by The Table took place.

An early memory when the table was new happened the first time we sat at it. It belonged to my parents Dr. Willard and Marguerite Smith, in their new home in Iowa and we were visiting there from Kansas. With the children in bed we visited with the usual “catch us all up” kind of conversations. At about 9 p.m. my almost 4 year old son came wandering down the hallway from the bedroom and glanced at the 4 of us sitting there in relaxed conversation. He had a smile on his face as he kept walking, passing us at the table and turning into the galley kitchen. He stopped in front of the stove and pulled down the oven door. Not missing a beat he pushed his undershorts down and grabbed hold of his “utensil” (as his grandmother referred to his male anatomy) As we sat shocked into amazed silence, he allowed a stream of urine to shoot out of his utensil and he began to turn round and round. The urine of course then went into the oven, toward us at the table, then hit the lower cabinets under the sink, and shot toward the back door as he completed the circle. Then he repeated until he was depleted of urine. He calmly pulled up his undershorts, gave us a relaxed glance while turning his eyes to his return path to the bedroom.

Momentarily we sat not speaking and then a rush of conversation began. My parents insisted he was awake when he did that and I could see where they were going with the whole “that wasn’t funny” and “he might need some discipline” attitude. It compelled me to tell them this was a Grubbs family trait. My husband, who sat near enough to have witnessed it and attest to the facts, was a trusted member of the family. I on the other hand apparently had no “street creds” with my parents.

first-apartment-in-stillwater

Taken weeks before our wedding at the apartment we would rent, which on this night, was New Year’s Eve 1961 in Stillwater, Ok. . When we rented it I moved the bed so the headboard was against the window and wall and the vanity I was using there to comb my hair, was moved to the other side of the room and doorway. You could see the greater portion of the bed from the living room. (Yes, that’s my hubby-to-be sitting there waiting for me to come back and finish the card game with my Aunt Danita and Uncle Phil.

I continued to tell them that the first week we were married, I awoke during the night feeling the bed in motion and hearing my husband talking. I opened my eyes to behold him at the foot of the bed, down in a football stance shouting, “Down” (hesitation) “Set” (hesitation) and I suddenly knew what would follow if he said “Hut”. He would forge forward with his imaginary football he had tucked in one arm.

The problem was further complicated by the fact he would make a powerful lunge and hit the wall or window in back of our low headboard and either break his neck or go out the window of our second floor apartment. Instinctively I raised my leg quickly placing my foot against his chest and shoved with all my might. He went flying out of the bed backwards and through the bedroom door which sat just not quite 3 feet from the bottom of the bed. Let me just say he would not accept my explanation that he was asleep or playing football, but then he also could not understand why he would be in a vulnerable positon for his 100# wife to be able to kick him into another room, or why she would even want too.

For years to come, there would be hilarious and scary sleep walking events to be traversed in the middle of the night. From grabbing me in the night warning me in a conspiratol whisper, “Stay quiet. We have to get out of here before they see us.” His grip would be powerful and I knew he was deadly serious. Or the times he would jump out of bed and rush through the house, going into the yard (even in the rain once) and walking around the house’s perimeter believing the house was sinking.

For years both father and son (who inherited some Grubbs genetics) would entertain us over and over with their somnambulist expeditions and be furious refusing to believe we told the truth about it. My husband’s nephew Tom was also  quite a sleepwalker.  His parents had to put furniture and other impediments in front of the doors at nights (he would always find a way to unlock the doors). They lived in a small community, Billings, Ok.  with a main street and just a few side streets.

herman-and-aspen-in-billings

Herman Grubbs and granddaughter Aspen standing on the newly improved streets (with lights) in Billings Oklahoma.  When the next story takes place, there were not street lights, and the road though paved was not a “quality” street. When it got to the furthest end where you can see Trees, the road to the left was dirt. And that’s where the story begins.

At one point, the family of Jack, Lynda and Tom Grubbs were living in the opposite ends of the town from his family, Bill and Rosa Grubbs. It became a problem when Tom, barely in grade school, would “escape” in the middle of the night from the trailer , often in his t-shirt and underwear, no shoes, and sound asleep but eyes wide open, would get out without his parents hearing him. More than once the town’s night watchman who patrolled the small community would spot Tom walking in the very middle of town, in the middle of the street, lit only by moonlight. (No street lights in those years.) The night watchman knew the story and not to wake him and freak him out. He would slowly follow at a distance until Tom safely reached his grandparents. Because their doors were never locked, he would watch Tom enter then figure his work was done and go about his business.

grubbs-house-billings

The Grubbs house (grandparents) in Billings Oklahoma where Tom would sleepwalk to in the night hours. It was on a dirt road and from where he started his walk would be approximately 9 blocks.

Over the years all the “sleepwalkers” have entertained us but refused to believe they are guilty and believe us to be just punking them.

*****A Terrifying Memory*****

The Table witnessed one of the most terrifying life events in our collective family history. My parents had “moved on” from the new house and moved across the Mississippi River to Rock Island, Il. where they bought a building with a specialized handicapped residence built above as my mother’s health was declining. The chiropractic clinic already built below it was perfect for my dad to expand his practice and still teach at Palmer College of Chiropractic just commuting the bridge daily. They left The Table at the house for my sister Trula’s family which was  soon to be five children. One can imagine all the birthdays and holidays celebrated on it, and my grandson Bradley sitting there trying to gag down his broccoli.

It was after the birth of the fifth child that my sister had to go in the hospital for surgery overnight. My mother came and stayed with the children and was diligent to see the house was secured, locking the doors, checking the windows. My sister’s purse had been stolen a few weeks before as she had a habit of leaving it on the kitchen counter just inside the back interior door, which after two steps down, one could access the back door which led outside. 

four-generations

The four generations picture shows me standing (author Joyce Godwin Grubbs), my young daughter Trula Dee, then far left, Grandma Rhoda Marrs and far right my mother, Marguerite Marrs Godwin. The photo was taken in my parents house with “The Table” witnessing the picture as it was taken by the photographer my mother hired to come to the house for a portrait of family.

The next night mother stayed to feed the children their supper and put them to bed before leaving for home. My sister was miserable with a very sore abdomen and was using cold packs and taking pain meds so she went to bed as soon as mother left. At two in the morning, she was uncomfortable again and got up to get some pain medication and renew the cold pack. She went back to bed leaving the hall light on so the children could get up and go to the bathroom and her daughter Amy who was scared of the dark would not have a problem and call to her to take her to the bathroom. Amy strongly believed there was a “witch in the house” at night that would get her.

We would learn later that my sister’s rapist came in the back door (locked) and passed The Table, to get to the hallway and bedrooms. A silent witness who would never be able to divulge the identity of the attacker. A witness who would hear her fearful gasp when she saw him in the doorway of her darkened room, and lit by the back light of the hallway he would look like a witch with a pointed hat. The silent witness, who with my sister realized it was a man in a pointed hooded sweat shirt. The instructions to her, the warnings to her about not reporting the rape and the warning that he would come back and kill the kids and her, were forever contained in the inanimate witness.

trula-with-the-kids-at-christmas-on-ricker-hill-rd

Trula Godwin (Tanner) with her children at Christmas after she had been on the force a about 12 years. Each child was affected in negative ways by the rape and eventual dissolution of marriage, but each struggle to have their maternal family unit remain in tact.

Terror had come to the family and The Table bore witness, but could not tell.

The Walls? They really do not talk.

*****The Table Travels*****

And so the table began it’s odyssey of travels in the family. My sister’s life was forever changed and challenged and her marriage could not be sustained against the pressures brought about by “Rape Trauma Syndrome.” Neither she nor her husband could come to terms about the man who went on to rape 9 more women in home invasion rapes, each one more violent than the last. While her “coping” method was a positive effort as she returned to college taking Criminal Justice courses, and then became the second female police officer on the Davenport, Iowa force, it only furthered the chasm between husband and wife. She became a sex crime expert and the next 28 years her job would become all-consuming and the family dynamics would shift time and again.

The Family of five, all grown up. They all had to admit they were never the same after the night of the rape, and each had their own way of being affected. In the bottom right corner is Charles "Chuck" Wright, who was the Chief of Police who hired Trula and later went on to be Mayor.

The Family of five, all grown up. They all had to admit they were never the same after the night of the rape, and each had their own way of being affected. In the bottom right corner is Charles “Chuck” Wright, who was the Chief of Police who hired Trula and later went on to be Mayor.

The Table was left behind when the family  left the house as the parents divorced, and it then went to my house for a few years. Our family of five did not need that large of a table and chairs, but our adolescents were creating a dynamic of “company” that was ongoing so it served its purpose.  Truth be told, in those years I was glad The Table was a silent “witness”.

henslers-by-fireplace

Trula Dee’s family a few years after they received The Table for their new home.

When our daughter Trula Dee got her first home in Wisconsin she had her own “gang of five” like the Aunt for whom she was named. The Table went through many years of which a remarkable book could be written about family, life, love, and challenges of health issues overcome that could teach many lessons about resilience and reliance on God.  Through all the 25 years it has been there with them in Wisconsin, The Table has served them well. When it got its most recent refinishing job by the grandson Steven, there was a great deal of loving care given to what had now become a focal point of “family”. 

Each person could tell stories about The Table and things it had witnessed. They would honestly point out, some would be “the good, the bad and the ugly” as could each former caretaker of The Table.

*****In Summation******

Let us realize that this table is still in use and Trula Dee is now  a grandmother for the first time and it will be a opportunity for even greater bonding around The Table. As for me,  a  great-grandmother for the first time, it will bring back memories of the occasions of welcoming my first grandchild when it was at my home, as she will her first grandchild at her home. 

And while my mother Marguerite is gone, it would do her frugal heart good to know The Table still serves her family and within the elements of the table are the memories of over 50 years of family history.

joyce-72-with-girls-2

My 72 birthday with my daughter Trula Dee.

Life doesn’t get more real than that.

 

 

 

Posted in FAMILY, Family claims, Family Legacies, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Imagine a Writer’s World and an Editor Who Loves to Edit; Experience counts, rapport makes the difference.


lyle-ernst-in-memoriam

← LET ME TAKE YOU ALONG TO THE RIVER WITH MY WRITINGSNO MAN IS AN ISLAND: NO AUTHOR IS ALONE by guest writer Joyce Godwin Grubbs IMAGINE A WRITER’S WORLD AND A MAN WHO LOVES TO EDIT : IN MEMORIAM, AUTHOR,EDITOR, LYLE ERNST 2016)

 

LYLE ERNST WAS A TRUE ENIGMA:  His motto was, Experience counts, rapport makes the difference.

Rarely do you hear any writer say they love to edit, but if there was a business called “Editing ‘R’ Us”, Lyle Ernst would be the CEO.

No matter the content, or genre, he was there for the writer. He made himself available personally and one to one with any author he worked with.  His patience was part of the package deal when he was working with clients and his passion kept them on track. No such thing as writer’s block in his world. His fees did not reflect his talent and ability, but rather the fees told the story of a man who loved the written word and wanted to mentor and encourage any writer, of any level, to keep writing.

orange book pic 2

 Testimonial:

Imagine saving a lifetime of accumulated writings and thinking when you retire it will all come together and you would be published. I was such a dreamer. I found myself incredibly frustrated when I wanted to submit my works to editors, and found the expectations of submissions had gone “high tech, and meticulous”. Those weren’t anywhere close to describing my writings.

 I met Lyle at a writer’s conference and immediately contacted him.We met at his favorite business office, the Village Inn in Davenport, Iowa. I showed him my writing and my dilemma. I couldn’t even imagine trying to get queries, synopsis, and chapters ready for my novels submissions.

For his part, he admitted to being a little amazed at the number of completed books I had written and immediately set out to help me formulate a plan to reach out to publishers/editors ,and agents. He did some “Reality Therapy for a Writer 101″ per Lyle Ernst, and helped me through.

Today, Lyle has done edits on seven of my 15 books and helped me find “pro-bono” editing for my military book to salute pre-deployment issues on behalf of soldiers being deployed to Afghanistan. He helped me realize content needs and basic editing needs,  and was a resource for seeking out editors, agents, and submission planning. I don’t know where I would be without him, but I think the word “unpublished” would cover it. He helped me engage my writings into a photo journalism sideline, creating areas to fill my need for more “immediate gratification” than novels bring.

The thing that stands out is that you could multiply my experience by scores of other writer “wanna be’s” and struggling writers who needed the mentoring hand of an experienced and caring man. Thus, the “Literary Godfather” Lyle Ernst came to be.

I wanted to give this testimonial  so others  know he was the ‘real deal’ and for anyone beginning their career as a writer there was no one better. He created a very high bar in “paying it forward”. And so I salute Author Lyle Ernst for his caring beyond himself to mentoring other authors. I personally wish to thank him, knowing that without his intense encouragement and leadership, I would not be published today.

Lyle was many things to many people: I offer this photo album of pictures for those who knew and loved him, and for those who would have wanted too, had they known it.

lyle-river-man

The “River Man” loved all rivers, but the Mighty Mississippi was his passion, and in particular, the area of Prairie du Chien.

lyle-mississippi-writers

Lyle was one of the co-founders of the Mississippi River Writers and it was a catalyst to even more mentoring and expanding his involvement in helping writers “take the plunge.”

lyle-indian-book

With the many hours he devoted to editing and mentoring, he still had time to fulfill his love of writing and his favorite writing partner was Ojibway author Kimberly Sigafus (McIver). Awards found there way to their writing series.

the-mida-2

Lyle and Kimberly had just finished their release of the second book of the Mida series.

 

lyle-suit-and-book-cases

Lyle was one of the most avid readers and in many genres. How he was able to consume the volumes weekly that he did only added to the mystique of this Author, Editor, Mentor, Reader, Workshop presenter, News reporter, photo journalist, and husband, father, and friend extraordinaire.

hugs-pat

Our last words are of thanks to Pat Jeffers Ernst. Thank you Pat for the many hours you shared Lyle with all of us. Thank you for your gentle spirit and loving care on his behalf. You my friend were the one who gave him encouragement, inspiration, and as he always said, “She’s my best content reader,” (and we all know how he valued and was inspired by that.) He credited you with his life’s success as you stayed at his side encouraging and believing in him.

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Author, Editor, Lyle Ernst. Dream Taskmaster to the Literary-dreamers, and Champion to the “Indies’ ” successes


When your best buddy puts on Facebook that he has Stage 4 lung cancer and won’t be on Facebook while “fighting the good fight,” a get well card just doesn’t cut it.

lyle-c-hope-and-rbecca

Lyle and I were an “unlikely” couple to become best buddies but we did because we both have this piece of common ground. “At the end of the day, we love people who love to write.” Those who want to be published, want to share their ideas and stories, and those who are willing to WORK to make it happen.  Whatever the hold-up; money, editing, lack of confidence, a need to be “traditionally published only”, and those, like me, who just want to be read so voices and stories of the un-sung heroes and sheroes of the victims and survivors do not die.

(“See how long that sentence was? Where’s my editor when I need him??? Lyle?)

Let me take you back to our first meeting and bring it forward. You might understand us better after you can see our friendship as it came together. 

It was so cold and I was nervous as I grabbed my leather portfolio and hurried to my appointment, struggling in heels across the icy parking lot of the Village Inn in Davenport. So many meetings in my career had been held there, day and night. It was like a “safe place” to meet and not be shooed out the door by staff, many of whom I’d known on a first name basis for almost 20 years.  Confession is good for the soul and makes me admit that my meetings often went on for hours. I am a talker. I am a stickler for research, and I have to know the people I am involved with. With this new man, Lyle Ernst, I was headed into uncharted waters as I entered and scanned the room. Then I spotted him and the wait staff smiled and nodded toward him. “He’s been waiting for you.”

I had seen pictures on the internet when I googled him and had a preconceived notion as to what he was going to be like. However, nothing could have prepared me for “Editor, Author, Lyle Ernst”. The first words out of his mouth were not words; the sound was laughter. “I saw you getting out of your vehicle and didn’t know whether to come help or watch you blow away from the wind.”  Full laughter now.

 

Lyle's laugh is the most identifiable and memorable thing about him. It is infectious and yet reassuring as it comes from a good place and is sincere. Few people have ever gained my trust because of their laugh. Lyle ranks #1

Lyle’s laugh is the most identifiable and memorable thing about him. It is infectious and yet reassuring as it comes from a good place and is sincere. Few people have ever gained my trust because of their laugh. Lyle ranks #1

 

I tried to project my business-like persona but he kept coming up with these side-ways zingers and laughing as though it didn’t matter if I did or not. He had short grey hair that still boasted some reddish-brown top hair. Glasses and a beard made me think they were the only “sedate” thing about him, and his glasses were a necessity but the beard was just that touch that rounded out his “cocky” look. At his side on the seat of the booth was a hat he undoubtedly wore fondly. It was what I called a “cocky hat” and the fact it came from Oklahoma made it all the more notable to an Okie like me. I had already identified him as a “grizzled, rascal of a newsman” and I was not disappointed. He could have been a character in one of my books. 

lyle-with-cocky-hat

In his signature hat, with his eye’s twinkling, we spent so many hours conferring at “our office” (The Village Inn) where he drove the waitresses into fits of laughter, and always ordering a Miller Lite and being shocked “they were out”.

I had already written 4 novels and was here to get his input on how to get them “out there.”  I didn’t write a best-seller, I knew that. But I did write to champion victims and survivors of rape/sexual assault and domestic violence. I wrote to champion the men and women who struggle with those issues, and those who help them and guide the highest risk victims underground. I wanted to “inform” and help people who know nothing about the hurt and pain of victims, to learn to empathize and perhaps be drawn in to help. Mostly, I just needed to be read to accomplish all of that.

I needed Lyle to guide me through the process of publication, perhaps help me write a more appealing cover letter, and most of all, I needed a trustworthy, experienced, and aggressive ally to help me counter the way my work was perceived. Now to find out if he was the one.

Already 60 I knew my viable years as an author were limited. I also was aware my health would be strained to the limits making book signings which are crucial to the success of any author and especially one who didn’t have “time” in the 21st century timeline to traverse the maze of publicists and the hoops one had to jump through just to be screened. I had already had some responses from some of my submissions, but despite a cover letter revealing the clear disclosure that the events in the books were all from real cases though “disguised” through creative fiction, I would receive back good responses but inevitably somewhere it would point out some part in the book and say “this would never happen.” In the beginning I would be indignant and write back “if it was in the book, as the cover letter said,  it has already happened in a real case . These are the voices of the victims/survivors.”

Author pic with books orange

Author Joyce Godwin Grubbs after Lyle Ernst helped her get more than a dozen novels “out there.” He was everything needed; at times editor, at times content reader, at times a sounding board, and at all times, my friend and champion.

 

That was the beginning of a now, 12 year friendship and a most amazing find in my long years of people watching and working with the “good, the bad, and the ugly.” I did not know it then, but I had just scored a lifelong friend that at no time in my years of knowing him, ever exhibited any self-promoting or selfish desires for himself. I had been thrown into the “world according to Lyle.”

When I had a stroke while writing Footsteps Out of Darkness, a memoir with Annabelle Kindig, I had trouble completing some interviews. Lyle to the rescue and he became an important team member and instrumental in helping us wrap up the story in the promised time-line to meet distribution needs for the 40th anniversary of MESA (Moving to End Sexual Assault) in Boulder, Co. He kept Annabelle and I laughing to the very end of a very tense, highly-risky. timeline. 10 months, beginning to end.

annabelle 3 optimists

I believe Margaret Atwood’s quote was the only one that fit our mindset about the completion of Footsteps Out of Darkness; the Annabelle Kindig Story.

An elegant affair which had to change venues to accommodate all who wanted to attend. Ironically it was an overflow crowd with many of the organizers choosing to stand along a back wall for the presentations, to accommodate the over-flow crowd.

An elegant affair which had to change venues to accommodate all who wanted to attend. Ironically it was an overflow crowd with many of the organizers choosing to stand along a back wall for the presentations, to accommodate the over-flow crowd.

LYLE, HERE ARE SOME REMINDERS OF ALL THOSE YOU HELPED AND MANY THAT YOU WORKED WITH, AND ESPECIALLY MANY YOU LOVE; SO FIGHT, LYLE,FIGHT.

lyle-with-matthew

YOUR “BUDDY” GRANDSON MATTHEW; YOUR PRIDE AND JOY.

 

lyle-ernst-cubs

YOUR CUBS, YOU’VE BROUGHT THEM THIS FAR, LET’S GO FOR THE WIN !

lyle-and-pat-at-style

THAT BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WHO LIGHTS UP THE ROOM FOR YOU. YOU TWO WERE CERTAINLY “STYLING” THAT DAY.

lyle-and-tony

YOUR FELLOW AUTHORS LIKE TONY STILL NEED YOUR “TWO CENTS WORTH”

lyle-indian-book

lyle2

For Lyle, it was never about the money when helping others to write, edit, market, encourage or guide those needing help. He wrote for the love of writing, and did so with gusto. He was a news reporter, a non-fiction and fiction writer and known to most of us as “The River Man.”

YOU AND KIM HAVE MANY MORE BOOKS TO WRITE AND FINISH; the-mida-2

And while many would recognize you more readily in casual clothes, they would love to see you with your books and collections.

lyle-suit-and-book-cases

lyle-bd-collage

AND I FULLY INTEND TO SEE YOU ENJOY ANOTHER OF MY WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY COLLAGES OCTOBER 31 WHILE SIPPING MILLER LITE.

lyle-mississippi-writers

lyle-3-color-announcement

lyle-banner

AND THIS, YOUR LABOR OF LOVE FOR SO MANY YEARS, READY TO GO; I THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING ME TO BE A CONTENT READER AND WORK ON THIS WITH YOU. IT WAS MY HONOR AND A TIME OF FUN AND PRIDE IN SEEING WHAT YOU HAD ACHIEVED. YOU MY FRIEND SHOWED ME WHAT IT MEANT TO WRITE OUT OF PURE LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP.

 

lyle-river-man

Lyle’s love of the Mississippi River is legendary. He also has a love of writing about rivers and their small towns that cluster near them. That is why to many he is known as “The River Man.”

 

And above all Lyle, when we talk about fighting the evil “C” word, keep in mind the words of Robert Frost.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

 

http://www.editorwriterfreelanceauthor.webs.com/

 

Posted in Cancer Stage 4, friendship, Goodbyes, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“Sow’s Ear” into Silk Dresses is Successful; Estella Frances Godwin Creator. A Godwin family legacy story.


THIS IS NO JOKE; READ ON FOR THE “SOW’S EAR” REVEAL.

First, the dresses. You must put yourself in the setting where they were created. South East Oklahoma. You must imagine that the beautiful girl wearing the dresses did not come from a wealthy family but a loving one where dad provided for the needs of the family and mom stayed at home to raise the daughters.   Mom is the key in this story.

But how did she get the skills to create these and so many more outfits, without a pattern, and only a thought in her head as to how to make it happen? She didn’t even have a proper sewing machine, at least not for this generation. What she had were daughters who needed to “shine” at various events. Unlike when  momma “Frances” was young and lived a hand to mouth existence with her loving parents Leman and Rosalee Godwin. Frances was determined to prevent her daughters from as much bullying by their peers as she possibly could, remembering the torment of her own young life and that of her sisters. But how?

SHE PULLED OUT THE “SOW’S EAR.”

frances-dress-1

Connie models one of her mother’s creations made on the old “Sow’s Ear”.

frances-dress-3

frances-dress-4

frances-dress5-2

 Momma Frances, was named Estella Frances Godwin after her grandmother Estella Frances Hill Godwin #1 (the first) who died of tuberculosis when her two young sons, Lloyd and Leman were just 5 and 2.

Estella Frances Godwin Lloyd Jewel Godwin5 Leman Godwin 2

Estella Frances Hill Godwin, Lloyd Jewel Godwin 5
Leman Godwin 2

Lloyd and Leman were then in the sole custody of a now widowed father, Agrippa Wesley Godwin.

agrippa-lloyd-and-leman

Unfortunately the “Old Man” as he became known in later years by his sons, didn’t have the “fatherly instinct” as a priority. Despite marrying again, and fathering 4 more children, he struggled with what to do with his first two. Both sons had problems accepting a new step-mom and then siblings, or so it was said, and that led to the “Old Man” practicing some un-acceptable parenting skills fueled by his need for alcohol.

As a classic “wino” (meaning yes, he was an alcoholic, but wine, not beer or hard liquors were his choice of ‘drug’).  When he was “on a drunk” and ran out of money, he would lead the younger son Leman to Uncle Jim and Aunt Nora Hubble’s,  and leave him there with the childless couple. For the Old Man it was respite from putting up with the “acting out anger issues” described by the wife, and for the childless couple it was a time of great love and affection for the small boy. He would arrive with only the clothes on his back, and they were worn and threadbare. Aunt Nora would whip out her trusty treadle sewing machine and in no time have a small wardrobe for him to wear.

However, the inevitable pattern had become that the Old Man would show up and demand money if they wanted to keep the boy. Having little to get by on themselves, and not being able to trust “the deal would hold” and they wouldn’t be approached again for money, they would always relinquish him and his new clothes,  back to his dad. This pattern continued for some years and the older brother Lloyd was also eventually sent to live with relatives in Arkansas.

lloyd-and-leman-on-wedding-day

The Godwin boys united  as men. Lloyd on the left is 23, Leman is 19, and it’s Lloyd’s wedding day. Leman is his Best Man and in this picture, recreating the picture of when they were 5 and 2,  their hats are in keeping with the passage of time. They would remain close until death parted them with Lloyd going first, then Leman.

lloyd-and-marguerite-and-leman-wedding-day

Wedding day of Lloyd J. Godwin and Marguerite Marrs Godwin. Leman Godwin was the Best Man.

The young boy Leman grew up to be a grounded,  husband, father, and lifelong worker for the railroad system of Oklahoma. He had a family of his own, 3 girls and a boy. His life was a study in hard-times but it was also known that he could quote the Bible readily and with devotion thanks to the Hubbles who took him to church on Sundays and did Bible study with him. His faith was  his mainstay  to keep the hard times in perspective. He would never drink alcohol; lesson remembered from the Old Man’s life. 

His faith was a testimony to his family when they each relied on it during tragedies that occurred in their life together. This included a nearly fatal blow on the job when a crew member  laying track hit him in the head with a beam that hospitalized him for many weeks. He had not awakened for 3 days after the blow and Rosalee was at his side for weeks as he slowly regained his senses and could care for himself. Life was not easy for him but he returned to the railroad he loved until retirement.

Thus it was that the devotion to family also still included his beloved extended family, Uncle Jim and Aunt Nora Hubble. When they passed away, Leman would inherit “the Sow’s Ear.”

treadle-machine-frances

For years when the old treadle sewing machine was viewed, it was a mixture of sadness for the family, reminding them of the dysfunctional family  and hard times Daddy Leman suffered as a young child being a pawn in the Old Man’s schemes.  Thus the designation of “a Sow’s Ear” would be appropriate. Many times people would look at the family of  the Old Man and say that nothing good would come of them because “you can’t make a silk purse out of a Sow’s Ear.” All 6 of the children of the Old Man would grow up under that condemnation.  

Daddy Leman would stay the course and be the man who loved his wife, raised his children, and lived out his days helping his wife oversee care for their disabled son Leon (Buddy) until her passing. Leman and wife Rosalee were the first benefactors of the “Sow’s Ear”, but not the last.

frances-group-pic-with-dolls-and-labels

Rosalee holding "Buddy" as the children are all dressed in their "Sunday go to meeting clothes" as southerners are fond of saying. In this case, their Easter clothes, no doubt.

Rosalee holding “Buddy” as the children are all dressed in their “Sunday go to meeting clothes” (as southerners are fond of saying.) In this case, their Easter clothes, no doubt.

Of Daddy Leman’s 3 girls, it was Frances, (Estella Frances #2) that inherited the “Sow’s Ear” treadle machine of Aunt Nora’s. From the beginning of her marriage to her beloved Cornell,  and the family they created together, Frances knew that the machine was hers to make beautiful things come into her life so that she could make “silk purses” and anything else she wanted for the betterment of her family. The value and “magic” of that machine which had been a “Sow’s Ear” of sorrow-filled memories before, became the very thing that transported her girls, Connie and Carla,  into joy as they received and wore the numerous things made for them on the old treadle machine. Frances never failed to be able to sit down and create whatever was trending and wanted by the girls.

Of course it wasn’t just the clothing that was changed by the “Sow’s Ear” but it was the faith and life lessons to those it touched. The knowledge that no matter the challenge, NEVER let anyone hold you down by looking at your life and opportunities and saying “you can’t make a silk purse our of a “sow’s ear,” because it is not true. 

BELIEVE …………….YOU CAN ! 

cropped-orange-book-pic-2.jpg

AUTHOR’S FULL DISCLOSURE:  The people in this story/post are related to me. Frances (Estella Frances Godwin Roberts) is my beloved cousin, as is Norma Godwin Titsworth and the late Doris Godwin Woods.)  Leman Godwin was the only fully biological sibling of my father, Lloyd Godwin.

frances-cousins-with-labels

This picture of Estella Frances Godwin is current in 2016. Note the smile, and note the endearment at the bottom. This lady taught her family how to take the Sow's Ears of their lives and work with it. She takes joy in the things of her family and the memories in her life. She is the family genealogist for the Leman Godwin family and takes pride in passing on the traditions, hopes and dreams of all who follow. She does so by setting the example, not just talking. Frances, I love you too.

This picture of Estella Frances Godwin Roberts, “Frances”  is current in 2016. Note the smile, and note the endearment at the bottom. This lady taught her family how to take the Sow’s Ears of their lives and “make it work”. She takes joy in the things of her family and the memories in her life. She is the family genealogist for the Leman Godwin family and takes pride in passing on the traditions, hopes and dreams of all who follow. She does so by setting the example, not just talking. Frances, I love you too.

My Aunt Rosalee was a gentle and caring person who always extended me kindness whenever we were together. She was also my protector when Norma and I latched onto each other’s arms with our teeth  drawing blood and refused to let go no matter Aunt Rosalee’s efforts and demands to separate us. She finally had to literally pry our teeth apart with a utensil from the kitchen utensil drawer to force our grip on each other’s arms. 

frances-mother-rosalee-2

She was also a “shero” as she cared for her son, my cousin Leon, who would become known to all as Buddy. In the times of the 1940’s if a doctor damaged a child with forceps, for any reason, he was not liable. There were no such things as lawsuits or aid to care for their life-long needs. Indeed, in those days, the answer to the situation was “family.”

Leon "Buddy" Godwin and mother Rosalee. He was loved and wanted his whole life, and what more can we hope for in this life, than to be loved by those whom we belong with.

Leon “Buddy” Godwin and Grandmother Murray. He was loved and wanted his whole life, and what more can we hope for in this life, than to be loved by those whom we belong with.

Buddy was a very large baby and during the delivery his doctor used forceps and very unskillfully I might add. The damage to Buddy’s head would be immeasurable, leaving an area of his forehead indented where two fingers could fit into the skull. It would damage his brain and its function.

Buddy would be cared for by his loving family  including his sisters who made many sacrifices and suffered much emotional abuse from people who lived near them. They suffered from  fellow students  who bullied them and ridiculed them as they played and cared for their brother. The bulk of his care still fell to  his parents, until in adulthood, he became very large, over six feet tall and was limited  with very childlike behaviors. He was in need of full-time care. Loving sisters offered to take him but his parents knew it was time to allow him to become accustomed to  the care of others, knowing the time would come when he would outlive them and his sisters would be needed for caring for their own families.

frances-dad-leman-and-buddy

Held and loved by his Grandfather Murray. Buddy had a large family circle to support him.

And it did come to pass that when his parents were gone, he lived in care centers of Oklahoma, visited by his siblings. When he passed away the staff and nurses at the care center he came to love wrote glowing messages of love and personal affection about him and his gentle and loving nature. A Gentle Giant, Buddy made it in his own way. He too was able to embrace in a simple way, the guidance of his gentler emotions taking hold. He took his “Sow’s Ear” and made it a positive. So I salute a cousin for whom I had great hopes and for whom my prayers never ceased through the years.

frances-sent-godwin-women-by-rail-road-tracks-uncle-leman-laid-9th-st-okmulgee

Above is a picture of the “Godwin Women” in the 1940’s. (Only one known to exist.)

  1. Left to right: Aunt Mildred “Mid”  Kiser holding Kathryn Ann Kiser .
  2. In the white flowered dress is my mother, Marguerite Marrs Godwin,
  3. Aunt Bernice Godwin holding Marie.
  4. In the turban it is being debated whether this is , Aunt Sylvia “Sib” Godwin Snyder holding Carla, or Aunt Charlotta “Chard” Godwin Bearden holding Willajeanne.???? Please leave a comment if you know/have thoughts.
  5.   Next is Grandma Amy Godwin (2nd wife of Agrippa)
  6. Aunt Rosalee Godwin with Estella Frances Godwin (#2) (named after Grandma Estella Frances Godwin who died at age 24 and was the first wife of Agrippa.)

As I always say, “The End is but an opportunity to begin again.”

Posted in FAMILY, Family Legacies, fathers, hard times, Life lessons about prejudice., Ohana, poor, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

UPDATED; Police Officer Meets Angel Unaware Initiating a 3 part God Wink PLUS ONE; Spanning 28 years


trula-three-collage

L) Trula Ann Godwin (Tanner) at 17 in Lubbock, Tx. M) Swearing in as a police officer on the Davenport, IA force. R) Mother of 5, victim of an in-home invasion rape.

YOU READ IT CORRECTLY. This story  happened in 3 parts beginning 1998.  In my belief system God Winks are like anonymous contacts allowed by God. Never doubt that it can be subtle or blatant; unsettling or reassuring, but it lets you know that there is something profound in the “lesson” or “experience” that is meant to touch your life…Author Joyce Godwin Grubbs.

Police officer Trula Ann Godwin (Tanner)  was a decorated police officer of the Davenport Iowa Police Department. The second woman added to the department, she was also the first in the nation to have her own patrol car. She was  honored by the International Women Police,

Trula International award

She was also recognized for heroism with two other officers involving removing tenants from an active residential fire. A training officer and first woman to work undercover with the QC MEG (Quad Cities Metropolitan Enforcement Group) she was also used  undercover on various department stings. A sex crime expert who became a vocal rape victim/survivor, she became a police officer as a mother of 5 children (1 toddler and 4 pre-school and elementary age, when she joined the force. She received an appointment as an  Honorary Colonel in the Iowa National Guard and was awarded her “wings” at the Iowa Capitol by Governor Terry Branstad.

TrulaTanner kiddos

Picture 1: Brad, Darrin, Amy and Rhoda. Picture 2 and 3: Jason This is a picture of the ages of the children when Trula joined the police force following the in-home invasion rape at a time before there were any advocate/counselors for victims, and no police women on the Davenport force. Trula determined to fill the void and help bring resources to victims to see them into being survivors.

Trula, Gov. Branstad and Steve

L:) Iowa State Representative Steve Grubbs (Trula’s nephew) M) Iowa Governor Terry Branstad, and R) is Trula Ann Godwin Tanner  at the Iowa State Capitol.  She  is about to be presented her honorary Colonel’s wings designating her as an Honorary Colonel in the Iowa National Guard.

YET, AS THE FIRST GOD WINK APPROACHES, HERE SHE SAT, ALONE AND IN DESPAIR . A frequent visitor to the various bars in the area of her beat and after shift with fellow officers, she had chosen one that was not her usual. A small bar where cops weren’t the usual customers and she could be alone and quite. . She wanted to contemplate the devastating news she had just received.  It would not only end her career, but her life. It would be her lowest moment in her life. The doctors had informed her that the personal  breast cancer war she had battled for five years was coming to an end. NOTHING MORE TO BE DONE. She was dying.

Trula had shared with this author, her sister, that during that period she felt as though “she had worn out her friends and family who had stood by her in that period of time.  They were faithful, supportive, but dwindling in contact and in availability.”  She expressed feeling for the first time as though she had “worn out her welcome” . While she still had the desire to “fight on” she realized it might be a small support group that cared to see her through to the end.

Alone at the bar, no doubt feeding money to the juke box to hear old classics by Bob Dylan, Buddy Holly, Sam Cooke, and any others from her youthful era of the 50’s and 60’s, she would have been sipping her beer pouring it over ice. A newly acquired habit following her chemotherapy days. She normally would have been one who would make small talk with the man who came in and sat next to her at the bar. Hearing the stories of people, their lives and struggles, was her favorite pass-time. Yet that day she had to be “prodded into it” by the naïve man who tried to strike up a conversation, undoubtedly ignorant of the fact he was speaking to a cop, as she was in her familiar Harley shirt and jeans.

Trula at the Col Ballroom with Buddy Hollys Crickets and Ray Congrove photographer

Trula in 1984 with The Crickets after friend Buddy Holly’s death. Also pictured in dark suit is Photographer and friend Raymond Congrove.

Described later as a “scruffy”, un-kempt, small Hispanic male, looking more like a migrant worker than a “townie”, Trula found herself slowly making small talk with him, mostly listening rather than talking. But whether it was the beers or something he was saying in his calm, broken English, she found herself confiding her private pain to him.

The facts were that she had been told by the doctors that she was at the end, and there was nothing more to do. No more surgeries, the double mastectomies hadn’t worked. The cancer was in her body in several different places. She was at the end of the chemotherapy or having any expectations of it working. She had almost died due to a medical, surgical, error when the specialist slipped and punctured through her esophagus into the chest cavity during what was supposed to be a minor outpatient procedure. It caused her to spend almost a month in the University Hospitals, requiring 24/7 treatments even after she got out of ICU. The doctors had painfully admitted it was a miracle she survived.

trula and amy

Seen here with her oldest daughter, Amy, it was a night to forget the cancer and go the theatre and out to her favorite restaurant.

Sometimes a listener is enough to be grateful for. And this man listened, not asking questions, but looking at her as she spoke and letting her “get it all out.” At the end of her  story he reacted by removing a necklace and pressing it into her hand. “This was given to me by my mother, and she said it would keep me safe. I want you to have it and it will keep you safe.”

Trula did not even look at the necklace but slipped it into her jeans pocket and thanked him. Knowing my sister she would have had a hard time doing more than just saying thank you. She was, inside, an emotional person, but after 2 decades on the police department, she had learned restraint and caution in letting her emotions show. After all, she had just “bared her soul” to a stranger and that was not her usual reaction.

That night, having returned to her apartment, she began to undress for bed. She reached into her jeans pocket and felt the chain of the necklace and pulled it out. It was, to her amazement, a gold necklace with a gold medal of St. Guadalupe. Her recent  intent in exploring conversion to Catholicism made her aware  of St. Guadalupe .  She knew about her appearing to an humble, Indian male, December 9, 1531 ( his baptismal name became Juan Diego thus causing many to believe he was Hispanic). Trula knew about the appearances of The Lady to him, and to his uncle who was seriously ill and expected to die. The uncle  recovered after her visitation directly to him.  The Bishop who had to be “persuaded” with additional proof, then sanctioned building her chapel where she had first appeared and which still stands near Mexico City today. 

Many times Trula would return to the little bar, scan the populace as she drove thru her inner city beat, looking for her 21st century Juan Diego, the Angel Unaware. She was on a mission with a thankful heart. It was remarkable that in the days, and finally weeks, following the encounter where she was given and now wearing the St. Guadalupe necklace, SHE WENT INTO REMISSION, and LIVED another 4 YEARS in what her oncologist and doctors at the University  called a “most unexpected, unexplained,  remission.”  She never found her benefactor again, but began to think it was “meant to be.”  After all, she had entertained the company of an Angel Unaware.  Heb 13:2: “Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels unaware.”

Trula God wink 2 in 1

Officer Trula Ann Godwin Tanner’s picture provided by her son Jason Tanner. He has kept this picture with her St. Guadalupe medal and police badge together with the knowledge of this story and it’s significance until the “contacted him posthumously, yes I said posthumously, and initiated Part 2 of the 3 parts of the God-winks.

PART TWO: GOD WINK 2: My Sister Trula’s Time Capsule Arrived 13 Years After Her Death: It would change lives forever, but specifically her “baby boy” whose life was about to ‘go back in time’.

In the beginning;

It was Sunday in January, 2016 when I  checked my Facebook.  There was a private message; not unusual, I often get them and this one had just popped on. It was from a “Ben Miller.”and Ben was wondering if I might be a contact for a lady named Trula Godwin? His wife (Dana I found out later) was working on a dresser they bought at the local DAV store and used for the last 12 years. That day, when she tried to return a drawer to the dresser, it would not go in. Couldn’t budge it. They examined it and there seemed to be a hidden or special area hiding a large amount of materials in it. He could not wait to deliver it to me after finding out my sister had passed away in 2002.

ben miller and dana

Ben and Dana Miller thought they would refinish the old dresser they bought 12 years before at a DAV. Their discovery of a hidden compartment during the preparation, revealed the items of the “time capsule” of Trula Ann Godwin (Tanner). Their generosity of spirit and attitude resulted in their delivery of the capsule that same day.

When Ben delivered it there were so many items and as I sorted through them I was astonished at the selected items she had secreted in the special area hidden in the dresser’s structure.  To read about each of them please feel free to read the entire encounter/story by looking at the index of stories here on my WordPress blog and selecting “God Wink: My sister Trula’s Time Capsule Arrived 13 Years After Her Death. It is in the heading (black area) above. https://joycegodwingrubbs2.wordpress.com/god-wink-my-sister-trulas-time-capsule-arrived-13-years-after-her-death/

For now, the relevant item of the bunch in discussion is a letter written 24 years ago. Due to this “God Wink” I am now able to reveal with permission, the nature of the letter in the time capsule which I could not when it was first opened and I wrote the original God wink story. “THINGS HAD TO HAPPEN FIRST”. (Many pictures and details are in this post you can access in the original post..)

 There was a letter written to my sister Trula from a young woman in response to Trula’s letter to her.  She discussed with Trula the decision to raise her baby on her own with the loving support of the man she was to marry. However, she wanted Trula to know that this baby would be well cared for, loved, but not told of his biological father. The biological father was Trula’s son. This was about Trula’s grandson that she would never live to see.  I gave the letter to Trula’s son Jason as I knew that was why it was included in the time capsule.

ALMOST 24 YEARS AGO, JASON WOULD MEET HIS INCREDIBLE SON, THEN LOSE HIM IN A DECISION OF LOVE FOR HIS SON AND RESPECT FOR HIS SON’S MOTHER.

Jason and Zac2

This was the trip Jason made to meet his son. It would turn out to be his only visit. It was agreed that thereafter, Jason would be given  information, but would not be known to Zach as his father. His mother was married to a loving man who would be a loving father to Zach.  Jason honored the wishes of this mother, his friend,  who he knew would give Zach a life filled with stability and love. He has not seen Zach in person in 24 years since this picture.  

Jason and Zac

In full disclosure again, Jason is my nephew whom I love dearly. This picture tore at my heart as I know the struggles of his life in the military, with his other 2 children, and the desire to be a father to be counted on. I see how young he was here and it reminds me of the melancholy that would always be a part of the robust, leader and warrior, whose life was often defined by the Army and the challenge to be strong.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

reunion Jason Tanner

The Army received the fresh-faced 18 year old right out of high school as he determined to “become a man that my family can be proud of”. Thus, with that decision breaking up his marriage, he would find himself on his own and the Army became his family until his retirement from the military.

In the habit of pacing outside his home when in turmoil, Trula’s son Jason would often “talk to Trula and his beloved grandmother Marguerite” and felt he often “heard” from them.  After receiving the letter from the Time capsule while in Iowa to meet his first grandchild, he went through his “ritual” conversation, then felt led to contact the mother of his child and tell her he was ready, if she was willing, for his son to know about him. This was a long time in coming for Jason due to concerns of how his son would take knowing his biological father had not been in the picture to raise him.

The urgency was, when Jason made contact with the mother of Zach, he found his son was expected to be a father in his own right in just months. Family medical history was becoming important. This tried and proven former Army Sgt. was fearful of his son’s reaction and afraid that it would over-shadow his son’s happy expectations about the baby girl he would meet in October.

Jason had recently married and his new wife Kellie D. was a rock. She urged him to take the leap, she steadied him when he waited impatiently not knowing if he would get a scathing reaction from his son, or worse, hear nothing.

Kellie D

Jason and Kellie at their outdoor wedding in Arizona. Their passion is hiking and spending time traveling in Arizona and surrounding areas.

Hearing from his son Zach was overwhelming. Zach’s mother had shared with him that it was her decision and Jason had honored it as he was in the service and deployed to Somalia and later to Afghanistan, and as a career Army personnel, he was often in a ‘dark place” in his life, personally and professionally. The most important thing Zach learned about Jason from his mother was that buried in Jason’s heart was a radar about his son. At critical junctures in Zach’s life and his mother’s, Jason thru the years would call and check on them, as he had last done when he went, then survived Afghanistan.

zach and skyler with margaritas

A caption of “happiness and promise” on their faces. Skyler and Zach are in love.

 

Zach Reese and Skyler Roberts ice cream (2)

Zach and Skyler enjoying life, love and awaiting their “bundle of Joy.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The status now is that Jason will be going to “meet” face to face, his new granddaughter after her birth in October. Jason and Zach are in contact and finding their “way” that is mutually comfortable, and that Jason feels isn’t intrusive out of respect for the wonderful family Zach has had and who love him.

zach and skyler with baby pic (2)

Zach and Skyler, their contented and proud smiles say it all.

But as Jason says, “I’ve always needed to know what my mom thought about all of that, and the letter in the time capsule allowed me to know her thoughts, her struggles and her love for Zach. It was right before me in black and white. It was the catalyst to me contacting Zach’s mom to learn more about Zach and re-unite. The timing was perfect for me to get the letter, perfect for Zach to learn about his family and its members. Especially, his grandmother who loved him from afar.

And it was no coincidence that when his great-grandmother died, Zach’s name appeared with those of her great-grandchildren,  all those years ago in 1998. It was on the written materials used for her funeral and memorial. (Yes, many were trying to figure out who he was as Jason had protected his son from scrutiny.) But anyone who knew Jason’s grandmother Marguerite Marrs Godwin (Smith), would know she and his mother Trula Ann Godwin (Tanner) would have had it no other way. ( Her funeral happened in 1998, the same year Trula encountered her Angel Unaware.)   .

marguerite

Part Three: God-wink 3

As part of his reconciliation with his son Zach, it was clear to Jason that Zach had never received any gifts from him since that first and last visit together. He wanted to make a meaningful gesture of love and inclusion as he had already shared so many things with his first born, his daughter Bridgette who was already actively texting and becoming acquainted with her “new brother” and had just had the first grandchild, a son. Jason had also given many of his military possessions to his son Brayden. He searched his heart, conferred with various family members, including this author, as to whether his idea was “appropriate” and would be meaningful. Then he decided.

Bridgette and Jason

Jason with his first born, daughter Bridgette on a recent visit to see him in Arizona.

Brayden profile pic

Brayden, Jason’s third child is now out of high school and deciding his future.

Jason valued the fact that when his mother  gave him the St. Guadalupe necklace from the Angel Unaware, she wanted him to wear it in when he was deployed to keep him safe. He chuckled as he remembered he did not wear it in Afghanistan because of the heat and problems it would have caused, including his fear of losing it. Instead, he always kept it hanging on her picture along with her police badge she had worn during her career. These three things he valued more than any mementos, and thus after informing his children of his choice and reasoning, he packaged up his treasure and sent it to his son Zach.

He told Zach that he wanted him to have it and possibly wear it until the new grandchild was old enough to appreciate it and understand the legacy behind it. He told Zach that his mother had specifically said, that the story of the Angel Unaware was to be told and remembered as part of the family “legacy”, so Jason charged Zach with keeping it in the family and passing it down. He was holding his breath when he didn’t hear back from Zach right away and wondering if he received the package, when Zach contacted him. He was very grateful for the gift that meant so much to Jason, and was like a validation he was an integral part of the family. He was excited to know the story of the necklace, and more about his grandmother.

THE WEIGHT OF A LIFETIME LIFTED FROM JASON’S SHOULDERS.  Things had come full circle.

This is then, my effort to help and share the story. It is especially important to remember that there truly are angels unaware among us, and there is a reason we come into contact with them. So Zach, from your great-aunt Joyce Godwin Grubbs, this is my way of welcoming you in the family and giving you the charge to carry on for your grandmother who loved you and whose blessing would definitely be given in this gifting of the necklace to you.

Trula God wink 2 in 1

UPDATE; UPDATE;UPDATE;UPDATE********************************************

THE REUNION ; THE REUNION; THE REUNION.

 

She did it again and so the God Winks continue;

After trying to plan a reunion around the birth of his son’s first child, and holidays and other thoughts, it wasn’t until January, his mother Trula’s  birthday (now in heaven) that Jason was able, with his wife, to visit his son Zach, wife Skyler and new, beautiful baby girl Lilly. I believe it was her way of letting them know she was there and knew of the reunion. From Tucson to the Southeast U.S., the trip was more than they could have hoped for.

Jason described it as all four adults being on the “same thread from beginning to end” and no awkwardness whatsoever. His son Zach used the same words. So just a couple of pictures from that wonderful occasion.

zach-with-familyjason-with-zach-familyWe look forward to my sister Trula manipulating many more things in their lifetimes, and we know that she is thrilled they are ‘together”.

zacj-ice-creamFather and son and their own brand of humor; finding out it “meshes” and the two are one.

Posted in Angel Unaware, Army Strong, Davenport Police Department, Family Legacies, God winks, Governor Terry Branstad, Grandparent Love, Honorary Colonel Iowa National Guard, Iowa State Representative Steve Grubbs, love child, Military, Ohana, police woman, Q.C. Metropolitan enforcement Group MEG, reconciliation, secrets, Signs after death, St. Guadalupe, Trula Ann Godwin (Tanner) | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Groom Holds Olympic Trials to Determine Best Man


  WISCONSIN BORN, WISCONSIN BRED, AND SOON TO BE, WISCONSIN WED.

Steven Hensler is a “MAN FOR ALL SEASONS”. He is known to be decisive, have well established boundaries, and a well defined life. BUT,  when it came time to choose a Best Man for his wedding, he was totally and un-characteristically stymied.  With the diversity of his experiences and years of friends from childhood to adulthood, and with 3 brothers and a brother-in-law to be, he had a true challenge to “just pick one.”

While he is definitely a “man’s man” he has a tender spirit when it comes to friendship. He has always valued loyalty and friendship highly and credits his friends with seeing him through the good, bad, and ugly that life can throw at you. He would say that “Friendship defines those who have your back.”  He had narrowed it to 7.

steve mud (2)steve suit (2)T

The groom enjoys “Mudding” with a four wheeler in his Wisconsin surroundings, but he is just as comfortable in his suit and tie attire when called for in previous work  and church  experiences.  In fact as an EMT he is readying for his next big step after the wedding when he continues his pursuit to become a Paramedic.

 

Steven and cookies for the Homeless 1008

As part of a church outreach team to the homeless, Steve and the team made homemade cookies and delivered food and visits to Madison’s homeless. Steve  second from the left (2008)

 Below is the picture of Steve giving his annual “Christmas Story” to the family. He is one of the “renowned” storytellers in a family that is competitive and works to give all of the listeners their money’s worth and have them rolling in the aisles. No problem for Steve.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Steven at Christmas 2011

 

It was a result of his struggles to narrow the nominees down to 7 candidates, that he came up with the idea to hold a weekend “OLYMPIC TRIAL” with the winner being the Best Man. As a Wisconsin “born and bred” man, Hensler was all about the outdoors and having the competition encompass water, and land  challenges. He is always safety conscious so he was able to put in place all the safety designations while holding activities in the lake and on the farm for the shooting events. There was of long list of activities to be tallied, and all 7 were competitive.

Beach Frisbee,  and “Corn Hole” games at the farm were hotly contested and the target games shooting as well.  But possibly no where as in the competition of the Skeet shooters. With 12 gauges blasting it was son # 2 who took the win on this competition.

 

Steve games for Best man

Here ya’ go. I’m winning that buckle.

Steve Corn Hole games

Not a chance, I got this.

 

At the farm following the shooting competitions, and other challenges, they ate, partied, and finally tallied the scores.

 

Steven contestents

The Best Man contestants (Groom to be in yellow ).

 

steven best man comp2

The groom to be on the left with his “baby brother” discuss the ongoing games and tallies.

 

Of all the contestants, the 3 brother’s scored the highest, and the older brother won. He would say he won “handily”. There was so much fun in just the doing of the games, the camaraderie, and the sharing of old memories and teasing about all their youthful adventures.

The “Brotherhood” showed the Groom THEY HAD HIS BACK choosing the Best Man.

Unbeknownst to the groom, the 3 brothers got together and donated all of their points to his best friend from childhood. Actually he had placed Last in the points. It was a poignant moment I am certain, for the brothers to be the supportive friends they have always been to the groom. And they showed their recognition of the importance of his first childhood friendship. It also  gave a well-deserved recognition to the person who had first be-friended their brother and earned their respect. It was their way of showing he “deserved” to be Best Man by unanimous acclamation.    

Steven winner

The newly informed winner of the Best Man competition may have broken into his “Happy Dance”.

 

The oldest brother, and actual winner,  did however barter a trade for the points he gave.   In exchange he reserved the right to be in charge of the Bachelor Party, and everyone was happy with their outcome.

The groom and all associated with the “Best Man Olympic Trials” would tell you that no matter the motivation, the idea is solid. It was a time of remembering when they “played together” and bonding again as men ,while seeing their friend and brother,  into the “Rite of Passage” of marriage. No doubt there was a lot of advice shared, lies told, and laughs enjoyed. And it was a great way to become acquainted with the new brother-in-law coming into the family and him seeing the brothers in their most “natural state.”

Without a doubt, one of the best parts of winning Best Man was the Winning Trophy of the custom belt buckle:  The inscription reads (German) for Best Man ;  Hensler wedding 2016.

Steven best man buckle

And not lost in all of this, is the humor the groom and his bride have and express as they make choices about their wedding. This could not be more evident  than the choice of their wedding announcement.  Below, the pertinent information was blocked out by this author who took the opportunity to modify it and give them a little “tease”. By adding green commentary areas with her own critique, she could have a little fun at the expense of the couple. That’s what “grandmas do”. And yes, the bride really did hang him up and “bag him.”

Hannah Invite #3

Speaking of the bride, a small gallery of their pictures can be seen below.

DEFINITELY A “WOMAN FOR ALL SEASONS.”

Whether it is “mudding”, water sports, ball games, running in races together and apart, or skiing, they are up for it; together.

Hannah and steve faces

Hannah pro pic steve swim hannah

Steven and Hannah

steve smooch

Hannah and steve made up faces

ON THE BEST ADVICE OF THE PARTICIPANTS OF THE OLYMPIC TRIALS FOR BEST MAN, CONSIDER THE IDEA OF AN OLYMPIC EVENT FOR YOUR WEDDING ACTIVITIES. IF NOT TO CHOOSE THE BEST MAN, IT IS A PERFECT TIME TO REUNITE FOR THAT LAST TIME OF BONDING AS A SINGLE MAN, READYING YOURSELF FOR THE NEW ROLE AS A MARRIED MAN AND FRIEND. ACTUALLY A TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY SUBSTITUTE FOR A BACHELOR’S PARTY WOULD WORK AS WELL.

To read about their unique engagement, go to the blog menu and click on or search: Fairy Wishes; Proof they really come true; Engaged in a Fairy Garden.

Best wishes to the Bride and Groom in their September wedding, and their life beyond.

Posted in Best Man, Wedding, Olympic Trials, Wisconsin,, Groom,, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A GOD Wink: The Hanging Tree in Our Back Yard


 

THE HANGING TREE IN OUR BACK YARD (A LEGACY STORY)

One of the first confirmations of the ESP in my family that directly involved me was an occasion in my childhood involving my sister Trula. I am sure she was around nine which made my age 6, it was still 1949.  We had gone to spend a week with our Aunt “Sib” (Sylvia) and Uncle Chuck in Kansas. Mother and Dad remained at home in Oklahoma.

Album sib and chuck

Aunt Sib (Sylvia Bell Godwin Snyder) and Uncle Chuck (Charles Snyder.)

   

Three days into the visit we were having a wonderful time and were worn-out each night when we went to sleep. Usually we found sleeping together in a bed was always a test of survival. My sister often had nightmares and would thrash, and talk, and on occasion grabbed my leg and kept pulling and yelling. She held on for dear life while holding  my leg saying “Give me back my leg, give me back my leg it’s mine, it’s mine.”   She became quite violent when I couldn’t get her awake enough to understand she had my leg. It really scared me and it hurt.  Needless to say, I dreaded those nights.

It was unsettling then, that on this vacation night away from home, she grabbed me during the night and shook me saying, “Tweetie is dead. Tweetie is dead.” (Tweetie being her rescued sparrow that lived as one would care for a parakeet.)  I became more than a little upset because I thought she was still in her dream, and with my luck was dreaming I had killed Tweetie. I was ready to bolt when she said, “That cat did it. I saw him.” I really didn’t know how to respond but eventually she finished telling me the details, and said that when we got home we were going to kill that cat. She never said which cat, but she said she knew it, and when we got home she’d show me. Eventually we slept again.

Tweetie was a common sparrow but we had “saved him” when he was only a few days old, naked, without feathers to protect him. He’d become dislodged from his nest high up on a billboard along the railroad track.  Actually, in adulthood my sister said it was my friend and me who dislodged it when we climbed up to see the nest. I conveniently didn’t remember my culpability in that, but accept it could be true. My sister had a steel-trap memory and she never forgot, anything.

I also am forced to admit it was my sister’s dedication and skill that saved Tweetie. She developed the feeding schedule and diet (droppers of milk and tiny, soft-rolled pieces of bread, gently tamped down his throat between milk from the dropper). She also got credit for getting our mother to allow us to keep Tweetie and raise him.

At that time we lived in the middle house across the railroad tracks on East 9th street in Okmulgee, Oklahoma.  There were only the three houses after you crossed the tracks, and the road became a dirt road, and a dead end.  Each house was occupied by one of the Godwin families, and our family lived first in the third house, then had moved to the middle house when Aunt Mid and Uncle Delmar moved to Wichita, Kansas the year before.

 The middle house had a screened-in back-porch, and while we never had a cage, only a box in the early days, we were able to let Tweetie learn to fly in the screened in back porch and fancied ourselves providing him a “rich man’s cage” because it was larger than an ordinary cage. (Approximately 6’ x 8’.)

 Our mother had become attached to the little guy, and with Dad traveling all over the country welding for the union, we girls were on our own most of the time. We had no pets of our own at that time except for Tweetie. Dad had his wolf-hunting dogs and some fighting cocks, but this was our very own pet. We delighted in the antics of Tweetie on the porch and in our house. Mother tolerated the occasional bird droppings on the picture frames and light fixtures. Life had been good and we were content.

10957_180744947835_3239279_n

Our mom loved Tweetie just as much as we did.

When our Aunt Sib awakened us that next morning  my sister’s adamant declaration of Tweetie’s fate continued, and then thankfully it was for breakfast. I was always ready to eat.  I had already put my sister’s nightmare behind me lost in the pleasures of good food and good company. My cousins Carla and Nancy. As we were sitting at the table eating cereal, the phone rang. Before my aunt answered, my sister said, “It’s mother calling about Tweetie”.

My aunt was trying to speak softly and to talk in a way that wouldn’t alarm us, but it was a landline tethered to the kitchen wall. When she hung up, she couldn’t help but respond when my sister turned to her and said, “Did she tell you which cat did it?”

My aunt was more than a little non-plussed. She tried to play dumb about the topic of the early morning call, but she finally admitted that mother said to tell us about Tweetie but not how it happened. There was no need as my sister told her in detail how, when, where and after making me leave the room, which cat.

When we returned to our home two days later, my sister and I made a bee-line to the back porch just to confirm our worst fears, that Tweetie was gone. True enough, the latch on the screen door was unlatched and that hadn’t been done for a year. My sister walked into the back yard and looked all around. “I don’t see him, but we’ll find him and then we’ll hang him”. I knew she meant that cat.

It was a couple of nights later when all the adults were distracted with a party that my sister grabbed me and said, “let’s do it”. Protesting would not have worked as my sister had a way of pummeling me into compliance when she was determined about something. And trust me she was determined about this.

We had to crawl out the second story window above the screened in porch at night to hunt for the cat. Mother couldn’t know our plan or even that there was knowledge of which cat did it. We slid down the downspout (also called rainspout by some) which tells you how skinny we were not to break it or pull it away from the house. Up to now my sister had refused to tell me which cat it was, telling only Aunt Sib, but now she had the rope and we were going to find that cat.

I had no particular reaction when she identified the culprit. After all, it wasn’t our cat and it killed our Tweetie Bird. I was just as blood thirsty for revenge as my sister. I was, however, more nervous about it being dark with no yard or street lights.  I was wondering if you committed murder in the dark if the Devil could catch you easier?

At last we had the rope up over a limb, and though we didn’t know how to do a hangman’s noose, my sister made a slip-knot and we were set. We finally caught the cat which was definitely not a tame house cat, and we had the scratches to prove it. We carried the cat to the hanging tree and decided to pray over it. During that time it almost got loose several times, and again we had the scratches to prove it. Trula shortened the praying and the hanging commenced, and then we really had the scratches to prove it.

In years to come, one of my aunts, Aunt Mid (Mildred) would always laugh and tell this story saying she had never seen two girls with so many scratches on them. She said we had hundreds of scratches from head to toe.

 The truth of the matter is, the cat got away.  Actually we never saw it again. For most of my life I believed we scared all nine lives out of it, but in my usual hind sight from a more mature perspective, I believe my dad may have decided to “take care of it” since it meant so much to us, and he didn’t want us trying anything like that again.

The greater point of all of this, is that it was the beginning of my education in what turned out to be a family female trait. ESP. My mother, maternal grandmother, sister and eventually myself, had many experiences of varying significance, dealing with ESP experiences. Whenever these occurred in my young life, I was told not to talk about it because it was “of the Devil”. Southern Baptist didn’t believe in ESP unless it was to believe it was of the Devil. So, for the greater part of my adult life when these things happened, I simply referred people to the Bible and told them it was HSP (Holy Spirt Perception) and they could read up on the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

The truth is I don’t care if it’s ESP or HSP, but I certainly have dozens of stories I could share about these events, and will as time allows in later entries. I told this one just to lay the ground work for those stories to follow. I think the fact that it happened when we knew nothing of ESP (it was Oklahoma in the 1940’s for goodness sake and we didn’t even know the term ESP. We thought it was magic. Granted we thought it was Fairy magic, while our mother and her family thought it was at the very least, “black magic” and/or of the Devil) We had no way to have “dreamed it up” or to have faked it, at that young age, and that speaks to the innocence of the experience. Actually it seemed more for my edification, as my time was coming when I’d have those experiences. My sister’s experience allowed me to see that it was an unsolicited and innocent thing.

Since that first experience, I have struggled with this “gift” but in old age have come to realize it has been a good thing. I find that usually an experience is given and the choice to “deal” with it is mine. I enjoy the times it has helped me in “fun” ways and useful ways, like being able to know where someone is or isn’t, so I don’t have to deal with them or see them if I don’t want too. I cherish that it was relevant in allowing me to give a warning to my son-in-law Lonn, when a disastrous event was going to happen to one of my grandchildren. My forewarning him lessened the severity of the incident as it gave him time to take protective action.

My greatest amazement has been that I have now seen some evidence of this being present in a couple of my grandchildren, so I know it continues. I don’t understand all of the ins and outs of this, whether it is ESP or HSP,  but I can tell you it is for real. Just ask the women in my family. And as for the stories I tell about them, I’ve learned the modern term is a God Wink.

GLW Tracks 2

These were the actual tracks you crossed to get to our 3 houses of Godwin families. We lived in the middle one at this time and its screened in porch was perfect for Tweetie. You might note those rail ties. My Uncle Leman Godwin actually was part of the rail gang that built those tracks when he first began with the railroad work. He ended up spending a lifetime on jobs, including conductor on the trains, and had a passion for the trains his whole life. He laid track from Sapulpa, to Okmulgee past our house and down into southern Oklahoma, including Henryetta where he settled with his family. these are also the tracks that define the location of many of the stories of The Greyhound Lady Walking suspense series, but this author, Joyce  Godwin Grubbs.

2005

 

 

 

Posted in God winks, Holy spirit perception, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment